Saturday, September 15, 2007

It's September already?

Yeah I'm a bit far behind, it's the middle of September! That means several things: 1) gardening is coming to a close, 2) the semester has started and 3) it's September damn it! my most dreaded month.
For those of you who know me you know that turning yet another year is not something I look forward to. I've mentioned this is the past, it's genetic. I had a great aunt who would stay in her apartment with all the curtains drawn and kept away from the world. We didn't even know what day exactly was her birthday because we were forbidden to call her. I'm not that bad, but let's just say that I do not enjoy it.
Now this one is a big one, the big 40. I've been told that 40 is the new 30, whatever, if there's a zero in it, it's usually worse than the others. Mr. N, knowing his wife full well, has in the past years come up with things that would trump the dreaded day. 3 years ago he gave me a diamond and proposed over a pint of beer (we're romantic like that) after eons of being together, didn't expect it. After thinking that we would spend the rest of our lives engaged a year later he told me, in September, that we should get married that year, which we did 2 months later, in jeans, at city hall, with a good friend that kept cracking up as our witness. It was great.
This year we've been preoccupied with other things so somehow it has lost its sparkle or lack thereof. Mr. N keeps asking me what do I want to do for "the day" and frankly I have no idea. One day I think that it would be nice to have friends over, the next not so much... isn't indecision a proof of lack of maturity? I must be regressing then. In any case I will not beat myself up, I will play it by ear and see what I want to do when I want to do it, because damn it, it is MY birthday after all! I will not succumb to pressure, not even from me.