Nerd?

I've been called a nerd. Hell, I even called myself one in a self-depreciating way but now I'm pondering about the true meaning behind the word.
Speaking from my own experience I do not see it as a derogatory or insulting term; it is just a word that means that you have your nose in your books any moment you can so as to quench your thirst for knowledge. OK, very romanticized, but you get my drift.
I got a very good grade in my exam, and I guess this is where all of this is coming from. I study every day, every time I get (when the neurons are awake), and so I deserved it. Not a perfect score because I made stupid mistakes, but who doesn't.
The whole point is that I wasted a big chunk of my life in just getting by, and now that I've found what I want to do I am investing as much as I can in it. Sue me, so a nerd I am.
I will continue, and will laugh with those that think I make too much of it, all the while patting myself in the back as I remember that I am doing this for me and no one else. And the rewards I get? They will be well deserved.

And I like this... why?

I have an exam tomorrow. I'm freaking out. Why? because I always freak out when I have exams. I've always been a poor exam-taker: I hyperventilate, get sweaty palms, stomachache, headache, I convince myself that I'm getting a brain aneurysm; in other words I fall apart. And the more I study the worse it gets. Papers? I have no problems. Give me a 20-page paper anytime and even if I moan I'll get through it. I know that once I control my breathing when I'm taking the exam all goes well, but it's the building up to it that kills me.
So this is me, a Sunday night panicky person after a weekend of studying non-stop and 2 weeks of reviewing the material. I must be insane, why am I doing this again? Oh yeah, I love what I'm studying, but I could really do without exams though. Some kind of educator I'm going to be...

There's some other stuff going on, but right now I'm up to my ears in Native Language Acquisition to even consider writing any of it, so you'll have to wait until after the exam for me to go back to being my usual blabbering self. Until then, repeat after me:
"You'll do fine, you'll do fine. Breathe, breathe."

What the...?

As time passes I realize more and more that there are many wisdoms we were never told of when we were young. Yeah we get the birds and the bees speech, the one day you'll understand one, and the all time favorite you'll see when you have kids of your own. I don't know personally about the kids part, but I wish I had been told - among many other things- of the effects gravity would have on my body after turning a certain age.

Gravity should be a recurring theme brought-up alongside brush your teeth or they'll rot. We should be warned about its relentless pull, how parts that you did not know could sag would eventually start taking on a whole new shape, more oval, aiming towards the southern hemisphere. Did you know that the skin on your ribs gets tired of sticking to them and decides to part ways after you're late in your thirties? I bet you didn't, now you do. Love handles? Nah-ha, they have moved on and become alien entities that just want to run for their lives... away from you, towards the south were it's most likely warmer.
And the hair. Remember when you used to make fun of older men because they had hair sticking from their ears? Well think again, it's not from the ears in women, it's on the chin! and a rebellious one here and there on the throat. Why? because we never had to endure the shaving rituals on a daily basis (hopefully) and so it's a way of getting back at us.

Which makes me think, there is some balance in this world after all. Women go through yeeeears of GYN probing and then men get it right back when they are in their 50's and get the glove with Vaseline as they're told to relax. On the other hand men have to deal with facial hair throughout their lives, and we get it as we give up our youthfulness.
It's those little-know things that creep up and should be imparted on our youth: Things fall where they shouldn't and grow where we never thought imaginable they would. And those, more than the birds and the bees, are the facts of life. Now why were we never told??? Revenge I bet.

Damn winter

I hate winter. No we haven't had such a terrible one: no nasty snow storms, no blizzards or major puddles to walk through, but still, the weeks of hellish cold weather we had just wore me down. As we near the end of a few days of spring-tease (the damn cold is starting again next week) I realize how much I hate being cold and having to layer-on clothes. That and the bare trees. There's nothing more depressing than bare trees. Not only because they look dead, but also they do not cover the grime and the dirt. At least when they're full you can't really see how dirty the buildings are. So it's a fact, I hate winter.

But today was nice. After barely keeping awake in class my walk home turned out to be enjoyable as I was accompanied by a nice springy breeze that made me happy. As usual I took my time walking (I refuse, refuse, to rush during the weekend) and looked at everything that came across my path. I can tell you that there's a pigeon under the bridge I pass by that has digestive problems (for such little animals... damn!), a new car that parks on the street I walk on, plants that didn't make it through the freeze that we had, and last but not least a humongous amount of dog poop on the sidewalks. What's up with that?? Were they buried under the ice and have been kept for all eternity?
New York was the example to be followed by all when it came to dog poop. You have a dog, you automatically become a scooper. If you don't scoop you get whammed with a $100 fine. Well apparently scooping poop is like alternate parking: bad weather? no need to move your car or pick-up your dog's crap. Granted, they weren't in the middle of the sidewalk, but because I'm a klutz (clumsy for all you non-Yiddish speakers) I look very carefully where I put my feet and so I could see them everywhere. I wonder if the non-scoopers thought it would fertilize the trees... that are bare.

Once I got home the fun started: studying. I'm still following my I'm-so-happy-to-have-a-second-to-spare schedule and getting things done for school. I feel like I've been writing papers forever and so saying "crap" and "poop" is feeling pretty good right about now.
After finishing up Monday's assignment I decided that I was entitled to a beer, just 'cause. And off I went to breathe-in the last vestiges of Spring we will have for weeks to come and beer I got. I met my neighbors accompanied by Luca (or was it Luca accompanying my neighbors?) on the way back. Can someone explain to me how kids grow so fast? the little shrimp that he was is now almost my size! OK, not really, but I'm short so it almost seems like it. Luca smiled and cooed at the ladies that passed by and complimented him all the while looking at me like I was an alien from another planet. Call it school-stuff or other, but I wonder what's going on in that little head of his. His father forbid me to use Luca as a guinea-pig though so I can't even attempt to probe....

And so my day went, trying to perceive a Lunar eclipse without moving from the house (I'm lazy at this hour), feeling like it's been a month rather than a week, getting ready to do some brainless activities (TV), and rest so that I can, tomorrow, start all over again doing homework, studying, cleaning the house, all under a rainy day wishing for balmy weather and turquoise seas.
Aahhh, at least I have my imagination.